10 Ways To Help You Break Hard Habits

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We are the sum of our habits. Everything that we do or think is born out of routines and lessons we have been taught our whole lives. When you allow the habits that you have developed to become bad ones, life becomes a little less fun and a little more difficult. 

The problem is that it is exceptionally easy for bad habits to creep into your life. One minute you’re socially smoking with your friends when you have a glass of wine, and the next you’ve managed to develop a thirty-a-day habit. They’re insidious: they happen when you’re not looking or paying attention. To break bad habits you need a lot of self-control. It takes work to be able to notice that you are doing something unhealthy - whether that’s unhealthy for you or for those around you. The thing is, breaking your bad habits is worth the effort. If you can put your mind to it, you can do it, and it’s as simple as that. Not only do you manage to change your unhealthy habits into good ones, you are able to develop a strong work ethic and better productivity in your everyday life. Hashtag science, yo.

So, with that in mind, here are ten things that you should stop doing and start changing today.

  • Stop Using Technology In Bed

The bed is the best place in your house, bar none. Most people don't realize that climbing into their comfortable beds and scrolling through Facebook is unhealthy. Before you know it, you’ve got into bed at 9pm, and it’s now 3am and you are knees-deep in YouTube conspiracy theories with a subscription to TinFoilHat.com. The bed is the one place you don’t need technology. You do not need to bring it to bed and make your brain stay awake long after your eyes want to sleep. Start leaving your device on a table outside the bedroom or across the room - that way, it’s there for emergencies but not close enough that you’ll sleep badly.

  • Stop Smoking

One of the worst habits to have is smoking. Why? Because this habit doesn't just affect you. When you smoke, you affect everyone else in the vicinity. We get it, it’s a hard habit to break because smoking is addictive. You’ll have noticed that most smokers turn to places like lightfirevapor.com to change their smoking habit into one where they still get the sensation of smoking but they’re using flavor instead. Smoking makes your clothes, hair and skin smell, and it’s something that you want to avoid along with the blackened lungs. Start working to get rid of this habit as soon as you can.

  • Impulsive Internet Searching

How easy is it to spend money online today? Well, Amazon has installed a handy “Buy Now” button to make it easier than ever. Before you mindlessly search online for nothing that will still cost you, stay productive by giving yourself 15 minutes to choose whether you really need what you went looking for.

  • Stop Looking At Your Phone - Mid-Conversation

How rude is it when you’re getting someone’s attention and while you’re doing it, they pick up their phone for a quick scroll? Very, that’s how rude it is. The thing is, you may be doing it yourself without knowing. Keep your phone away from your hands when you’re talking to someone and leave it in your pocket. You want to be engaged and paying attention properly. Don’t be that person.

  • Stop The Notifications

Oh, notifications are the productivity killer! When you’re at work or trying to be present with your family, your phone is going to ping off all over the place. Let’s turn those notifications off so that they can stop being a distraction and you can continue to be present in the moment.

  • Stop Saying YES

Okay, we don't normally advocate for saying no, especially when you should say yes to adventures and to good things. The thing is, saying “yes” to everything in life is not actually a good idea, as you become that person everyone turns to purely because you don't know how to say no. It’s a good way to get used to it and you shouldn't allow it anymore.

  • Stop Being Around Toxic People

Toxic people have a hold on us and it’s because of the toxicity. They know how to get under our skin with gaslighting and manipulation, and so we stay around the toxicity and believe that they love us really. They don't. Make it the thing that you do right now to say no and walk away from those who no longer deserve your attention.

  • Stop Multitasking When You Don’t Have To

In the workplace you need to be buzzing from place to place and doing multiple things. Life has you spinning many plates, but you don't have to do that throughout a meeting, so stop doing it! You don't have to turn yourself in knots for everyone else, so don’t do it anymore.

  • Stop Gossiping

It is so easy to get sucked into gossip. Gossip is salacious, it’s sexy and it’s devastating to the subject of the gossip. How would you feel if people were gossiping about you? We wouldn't like it, either. Gossip is a bad habit and it doesn't do you any good to gain anything from the misfortune of others. Morality check yourself whenever you can.

  • Stop Comparing Yourself

Every single butterfly in the world is unique and beautiful, and you are indeed a butterfly. There is no joy that comes from comparing yourself to other people. All you’re going to do is focus on what THEY are doing with life and less on what YOU are doing. And hunty, you are the focus of your own life - you have to play the starring role. Stop with the comparison, whether on social media or in real life - all you will do is ensure that you put yourself second. And that will never do.

These are all hard habits to break. Have you got what it takes?

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Tips For Living With A Mental Illness

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Most of you may know that I am currently working on my doctorate in Clinical Psychology, so it is only right that I touch on the subject of mental illness because although we are living in 2017, it is still a subject of taboo for some, especially when it comes to different cultural groups. Dealing with mental illness is hard, not matter the degree. It's a very difficult issue to deal with because unlike other problems that are physically visible to the people around you - struggling with mental illness is very easy to hide, which makes it even more dangerous.  

It was once overlooked because people just put it down to attention seeking, and because of this people tend to be really frightened about opening up, but it's the year 2017, there's no need to feel like that anymore. There are so many different ways to get help, manage and improve how you feel on a daily basis.

While there are many severity types that span the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, for those who are able to cope with their symptoms a bit better than others, here are a few tips that will help you to keep a healthier perspective on things.

 

Focus on your strong points, but be aware of your limits.

You may not get as much done as maybe other people would, because you will be facing a lot of different things that cause you stress. But this shouldn't be seen as a negative thing. Because of all this, you are most likely very good at being patient, and patience is a great skill to have.

When having a mental illness, for some reason people tend to be quite creative. It doesn't always work out that way, but in some cases of Autism especially, people usually have great attention to detail and use their brain to store it full of knowledge and information. You would be surprised as to how many actors, musicians, and artists are actually Bipolar (manic-depressive.)

Don't look at yourself as being strange. You are unique in your own way, and that isn't because of your mental illness - it's because you're a human being. So put your attention and energy onto all the wonderful traits that you - and only you - can offer this world.

 

Get yourself the treatment you need.

There are far too many suicides that go on because people feel as though it's the only resort. The pain that it causes to feel that alone, dealing with such an issue that makes you so low that you don't want to be in this world with the people that love you. - That's a very dangerous spot to be in. That's why it's so important to seek medical help and discuss what the best treatment will be for you. - You don't have to suffer in silence or go through it alone. There are plenty of support that will give you all the information that you need to find what's best for you. You may find that going on medication that balances your mood is necessary, or talking to someone about exactly how you feel everyday is a more suitable option. Some people even find that herbal vaping or aromatherapy for health issues can help sooth and relax things like depression, anxiety, and even mood swings. So it really is just about discussing options and finding something that you agree to.

 

Get support but don't let it consume you.

It's very easy to feel like the odd one out when you're with a group of people, whether you know them or they’re just complete strangers - you know how you're feeling, and that’s pretty much all you’re able to focus on. Your mind is most likely racing with one thousand and one different things going on in your head all at the same time. If you're anxious, this will be ten times worse. Even if no one is looking at you, you will feel that this is specifically for a reason, and you will be analyzing everything like crazy!

Going to support groups for your illness can be amazing, because you're essentially in a room with all other people dealing with the same issue. Although it may feel as though you're on your own at first, the more times you go, and the more you open up - you will learn so much, not only about others, but yourself too. Groups are there to remind you that you're not weird, and you can find comfort in the idea that you will always have a place to go.

But having said that, don't use your illness as a crutch or an excuse to hold you back, or take the easy option out without having to push yourself. Sure, it may be a lot harder for you, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

 

Don't allow anyone to treat you badly.

For some strange reason, a lot of people that deal with a mental illness are deemed weak by other people. For example, if people are aware that you're a little different, unfortunately, most people will treat you different - even though you never asked them to do that. People may also try and take advantage of you because you are seen as an 'easy target'... Don't let them do this to you, however much they try. You're not someone that can be messed with, or someone that should just put up with silly things because 'you're different'. Don't ever feel like you need to settle in a relationship, or be silent in a conversation because the other person is trying to enforce some sort of power over you.

 

Finding work isn't impossible

If you're generally quite up and down, then searching for a more flexible job will be best. This may be freelance work, working from home, or if you're lucky, working for someone that is able to give you clear instructions, somewhere quiet to work in, and time off when you need it.

It's very easy to think that not mentioning your illness is a better route because it won't restrict you from the kind of work that you get offered - but don't do this. Your employer needs to know if you're not well. - Not so that they can judge or pity you - but just so they have a better understanding of things. Especially if you do have to take multiple days off, or shorten your hours.

 

Take responsibility for your actions.

Just because you may be a little different, doesn't always mean you get special treatment. For example, if you're in the company of others, whether that be family, friends or even strangers, - if you have a really bad day, and you lose your temper and get quite angry and aggressive - once that is all over and done with, you have to think about the possibility that you may have affected anyone while they were in your presence. Yes, it is horrible having to deal with emotions like that, but it's also horrible to see someone unraveling and losing control right in front of you, and you are not able to do a thing. So ask them if they're alright, and apologize for breaking down like that.

The same thing goes for if you made plans with people, and then end up changing your mind.  Don't just bail on them, let them know in advance so they're not left looking forward to something all week for nothing. You would like someone to take your feelings into account, so do the same for others.

 

Find the people that will accept you for you.

Friendships can be very hard to keep when you are dealing with a mental illness. We can all have the odd ‘good day’, which is great, and your friends may love to hang out with you. But then the day will come where you feel as though that dark gray cloud has positioned itself right above your head, and all you can feel is the weight of the rain hitting down on you. On days like this, your friends may not want to be around you, because they can't deal with how you are. - Let them feel this way. If they don't feel comfortable with you on your 'off' days, then you shouldn't want to feel comfortable around them either. That's why we have so many different people that come into our life - they all have different purposes. You just have to either be patient, or find someone that can be with you on a good or bad day regardless.

Relationships can be a lot trickier, not so much to find - but to maintain the relationship. Whether it be a few days, few weeks or few months of trying to act as 'normal' as you possibly can, you are sooner or later going to have to breathe and be yourself. - It's very scary, but how do you know you've met the right person if they haven't yet met you properly? You don't want to find out later down the line that you wasted eight months of your life, hiding a big part of yourself, trying to be the 'perfect' partner, only to find out they were a super idiot!

What about the people who are selfish and only like the sound of their own voice, or people that always think they're right and are never willing to compromise? - If they can all manage to find a relationship and keep a healthy one going - then you have absolutely nothing to worry about!

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